Today’s edition could be subtitled, “Nobody Cares That Your Father Was Junior Vice-President Down at the Cracker Factory.” It’s a little weird to me that people even list what their parents do in their wedding announcements. Today’s PHeartsI honor goes to two NY Times brides who hop in the wayback machine to ring up the insufferable points. The first lists in her announcement that she is “a descendent of Henry Clay Frick, the industrialist.” For starters, if you have to explain whom you’re name-checking, it sort of negates the cool. And when you’re name-checking Henry Clay Frick it’s not even cool to begin with. You know when it was interesting to note that you were genetically linked to Henry Clay Frick? When he was alive and it earned you a free pint at the bar just outside the gates of the local coke factory. The second bride states that she is “great-granddaughter of Norman Thomas, the American Socialist leader and presidential candidate.” When roughly two percent of even the Times readership knows to whom you are referring, just hang it up.
Although, I do relish the idea of an anti-labor robber baron of the steel industry sharing posthumous page space with a Socialist pacifist who sometimes accused the ACLU of falling asleep at the switch. Now that’s a match made in heaven.