While sitting outside passing out candy and sipping syrah last night, I chatted with my downstairs neighbor, who is gay, and his boyfriend. My neighbor asked how the wedding planning was going and I burbled on about picking a date and a location and la dee da. But a few minutes in, I started to hear an increasingly insistent voice inside my own coconut. It was saying, “Seriously, I know you’re excited and all, but just tone it down.” Why? Because I was sitting there nattering on at two people who don’t have the option of what my fiancé and I have. Not that my neighbor was disingenuous in asking; I think he was really interested. But it just started to feel like I was talking about how great my evening run was to someone in a wheelchair.
Others have pondered this inequity and come to their own decisions. “Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able,” Brad Pitt once told a reporter.
While I can’t imagine passing up the opportunity that my fiancé and I now have, my inner malcontent is more than a little huffy about the gross inequity. A 19-year-old starlet can stumble over to the Little White Chapel and marry the asshat she met over her third bottle of Hypnotiq at the Palm, but these two guys can’t legally and romantically codify what they feel for each other.
Perhaps we’ll make our wedding favors a donation to Human Rights Campaign. In the mean time, I’m adding a link to DC for Marriage to the blogroll. Consider checking in on them from time to time to see how their fight is going, and lending a hand when you can. And in the very short term, feel free to call these folks and give them your best Nelson of The Simpsons fingerpoint and “Hah-hah.” It’s exactly what Jesus would do.