Runaway Bride


I’m off for a weekend of chilling out at a cabin in the mountains of Virginia with three college chums. It will be highly unusual to spend time with these guys without copious amounts of cheap takeout, weed* and a looming newspaper deadline. So if someone could be a lambchop and find me a color scheme, a florist whose arrangements don’t make me gag and a gown while I’m gone that would be fantastic, thank you.

*For my fans in the various federal and state law enforcement agencies, this was never my weed. I was just holding it for them. And whatever, those Dinasour Jr. album reviews and impassioned “Chancellor Must Acknowledge Need for Subway On-Campus Expansion” editorials weren’t going to write themselves.


10 Responses to “Runaway Bride”

  1. Hammer Says:

    College newspapers are glorious places, aren’t they? To start with, you’ve got…

    The sleep deprivation, the drunkeness, the incest, the passing off of press releases as original news, the bogus ads to take up space for articles that came in too short or not at all, the x-acto knife threats, the utter disregard for fact-checking after 2:00 a.m., the incessant griping about lack of independence from the school, and the reliance on that same school’s insurance and legal dept. to bail you out when you really screw up.

    Good times. Good times.

  2. Johanna Says:

    I still have to report you, you know. Damn, and this friendship seemed *so* promising.

  3. I-66 Says:

    What is weed? I’ve never heard of it before. It seems bad. My mom is going to be pissed that you’re corrupting me.

    Dammit. If I’d known there was incest at my college paper I would’ve signed up.

  4. Jo Says:

    That sounds like an awesome weekend.

    I’m jealous.

  5. Bridal Bird Says:

    Hammer-Bingo! And don’t forget the couch. You know, the one that served as a defacto bed and you’d just squinch your eyes and try not to think about all the horrific fluids accumulated on its tweedy brown surface.

    J-You were a member of the Young NARCS in college weren’t you? I mean, when you weren’t at Young NRA Republicans meetings. Which were of course forced to exist in the shadows off-campus, like David Spade’s group in PCU.

    I-66-God knows when you’re lying. (except about the incest. He knows that’s not a lie.)

    Jo-Hopefully! If nothing else, the weather should be beautiful.

  6. Hammer Says:

    Now that is funny, because we did have a skanky brown tweedy couch. Its skankiness was unrivaled indeed.

    Good times. But you know what was better times? Photoshop + April Fool’s Day issue. The one time you could guarantee a year’s worth of lawsuit threats stemming from a single edition.

  7. sockrocker Says:

    i love dinosaur jr, and i love your blog

  8. Bridal Bird Says:

    Hammer-It’s funny because it’s true…

    Sockrocker-Yes, I heart me some c. 1995 tunes. 😉 And thanks!

  9. etcetera Says:

    where’s my monday dose of NYT abuse?

  10. Johanna Says:

    yeah, wheresitat, bird?

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