I’m back and as I’ll be running around like a chicken with my head cut off once I get to work today, I’ll offer you this amuse bouche on the Texas trip. Here are a few actual exchanges witnessed, or involving, me. At least one of them made me think that running for the nearest exit when it comes to marriage would be best for all involved.
Wife: “You make me want to blow my brains out on a daily basis.”
Husband: “I can make sure that it looks like that’s what happened.”
Fiancé’s mother to fiancé: “You know that one of your ancestors presided during part of the Salem witch trials.”
Fiancé: “Maybe that’s why I’m so judgmental.”
Fiancé: (turning attention to me) “I know I’d find you guilty.”
Fiancé: “Guilty of being hot. Heh heh heh.”
Dude 1: “You didn’t know he got snipped after they had the baby?”
Dude 2: “No.”
Dude 1: “Yeah. Why do you think she got him the iPhone?”
That’s all for now. I’ve got to go detox from Whataburger breakfast taquitos, fiancé’s mother’s cherry pie, and Big Red soda from City Market BBQ in Luling, Texas (pop. Delicious).