Doubt.

smoking-bride.jpg

(Photo by Kim Long.)

I was asked two totally innocuous questions this weekend and my response to both ended up rattling around in my head for a while, even after a shiny ball rolled in front of me and a butterfly flew by my nose. The first was on Saturday night, when someone asked how the wedding plans were going. I responded, “OK, I guess. It’s tough because it’s not really my thing.” Then I realized how that sounded and I quickly stammered, “I mean, getting married is my thing, because I am. I just mean all the planning stuff is overwhelming.” To his credit, the always-unflappable questioner didn’t respond (out loud at least), “Easy, jackass,” before backing away slowly. The second question was what my wedding theme is. The person asking was joking and it was totally in context. But my truthful response was that thus far I’d kind of just assumed our wedding theme will be “We’re getting married at the Hay-Adams so enjoy the view and the Cristofle serving pieces.” Coming on the heels of the previous night’s question, it made me think: Am I a crappy bride?

[Full disclosure: Any anxiety I’ve been dealing with is no doubt being exacerbated by the “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” marathon that’s been on all afternoon. There is a bride on screen right now pulling out boxes of doodads she’s been saving for years in advance of her wedding reception. Seriously.]

What’s got me a little looped out is that I love to throw parties. I love to decorate. So this case of writer’s block, as it were, in which the details that need to be decided on are eluding me, is unsettling. Does my inability to visualize what my table centerpieces should look like carry larger portent? If I can’t settle on ecru or eggshell for my wedding invitations am I going to be a bad wife?

I think the solution is clear. I need to figure out where I can add “Valium” to a wedding registry.

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10 Responses to “Doubt.”

  1. I-66 Says:

    Should’ve thought of that when you were in England.

  2. sparklepirate Says:

    Someone asked me what the theme is for our wedding and I said, “Ummm…. ‘we’re getting married. Enjoy the open bar!'”

    Really, what else is there?

  3. Juju Bean Says:

    Seriously, theme weddings are just stupid. It’s a wedding, not a child’s birthday party. Don’t stress it.

  4. Shelly C Says:

    Hear, hear, Juju Bean!
    The theme is love, friends, and family–that’s plenty.
    As for a prescription: try avoiding the Knot and reality TV for a while.

  5. Mary Ellen Says:

    A bad wife?? I’m not even going to imagine what that means. (Stouffer’s for dinner??) Suffice to say, that “beautiful wedding in classic setting with ever-so-happy bride and groom” is a fabulous theme.

  6. K Says:

    “Themes” bring to mind Disney and princesses. Not your wedding choices or general style. Chuck ’em.

  7. Johanna Says:

    I would like to add that the phrase after I texted Ms. B. Bird, “What is the theme of your wedding?” was this:

    “I’m going to laugh no matter what you say, just so you know.”

  8. kate.d. Says:

    There is a bride on screen right now pulling out boxes of doodads she’s been saving for years in advance of her wedding reception.

    i can guarantee that this woman will not be a particularly good wife, because at this point she needs psychological help.

  9. freckledk Says:

    You can have one of my valium. Consider it a wedding gift.

    Take only 1/2 a pill, though. They are comparable to horse tranquilizers.

  10. class-factotum Says:

    I hear you. I will be getting married sometime this summer. (We haven’t picked a date — thanks to an archaic Wisconsin law, you can’t marry until you’ve been divorced for six months, even if the ex dies within that period, and my fiance’s divorce was final just last week.)

    I love attending my friends’ weddings and I like throwing parties, but I have no interest in planning a wedding or even having one of my own. I am interested in being married, but not in the ceremony. If it weren’t for my mom, who would like to see at least one of her children walk down the aisle before she dies, we would elope.

    We still may do that and promise all Thanksgivings and Christmases for all eternity to my mom. (Which would be no sacrifice for me, as my fiance’s parents hate me — many reasons, including how I eat bacon, which is to tear off the fat and eat only the lean. They think that is insulting to the cook.)

    PS I met my fiance three years after he had filed for divorce. I am not a homewrecker!

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