I’m a big fan of any wedding tale sent to me from a reader that includes the line, “We think she was on drugs.” Consequently, I’m using reader Michelle’s submission for the second installment of I’m Not Sh***ing You I Actually Saw This At a Wedding. Her input was great because it covered several of the offenses that will land you in the crosshairs in this feature: crappy vendors, tackiness, and cheapness. And she gets bonus points for having yet another Michael Jackson-related wedding faux pas, much like our “Thriller”-choreographing couple from a few weeks ago.
“1) My sister’s wedding. During the reception, the loopy DJ mis-said my sister’s name not once, not twice, but three times, calling her “Symphony.” Her name is Cynthia. Then, during the dancing, she played “Bille Jean” by Michael Jackson, and in the middle of it, came out and gave an MJ “performance,” complete with white sequined glove and hat. We think she was on drugs.
2) I was a dateless bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. As such, I hadn’t even bothered to bring my wallet, thinking it would be safer in the hotel room. When I went to order my one rum and coke for the evening, the bartender handed it to me and said, “that will be $6.” I was stunned. There had been no signs and absolutely nothing in the invitations or pre-wedding talk that indicated it would be a cash bar, so I assumed it wasn’t. I told the bartender I had no money and was willing to just walk off without the drink. But then she shot me a look of deepest loathing and said,”well you can have this one, but don’t try pulling this again.” I was humiliated, then furious. Keep the drink if you want to, and spare me the condescending remark. Moral of the story: if it’s a cash bar, make it obvious.”
Michelle, I think you’re being waaaay too generous. Because to my way of thinking, if it’s a cash bar, just go ahead and maybe don’t so much have alcohol at the reception at all. But the first story reinforces my belief that I’m making the right call by insisting that any contract with a DJ for my reception will include the line: “If you open your mouth or step one foot out from behind your board you will not receive payment for this event. Looking forward to working with you!”