Got 99 Problems But…

Things I determined yesterday:

* I do not like Rock Creek Rambler very much, due to his penchant for delivering gleeful facty bitch-slappings.

* If, before leaving my office, I throw on my gym clothes and put my hair into treadmill-ready funbuns, it is the law that I will run into her.
And she will look like this (adjusted for work/weather appropriateness):

j.jpg
And I will look like this (adjusted for three-dimensional appropriateness):
mesouthpark.jpg
However, if the run-in occurs on K Street, she will hopefully be too busy, er, windowshopping, to notice what an affront I am to every sartorial philosophy that she holds dear. 

* Getting back to my house after a long day only to discover that the valet still had my keys because I dropped the car off in the morning and my fiancé was picking it up is awesome and doesn’t at all make me want to yell expletives and hurl myself at the locked door like a cranky Honk Kong Phooey.

* Cracking open my new Dazed and Confused—Criterion Collection for the first time knowing that in fewer than 90 minutes I will hear Wooderson say, “If it ain’t that piece of paper it’s some other choice they’re going to try to make for you…cuz let me tell you this: Older you do get the more rules they’re going to try to get you to follow. You just gotta’ keep livin’ man. L-i-v-i-n,” is just the thing to soothe my jangled nerves. But even better is that in my excessively sleepy state, this was the last scene I remember seeing before drifting off:

And as I’ve otherwise gone absolutely nowhere with this post, let’s try to salvage it with a thought to carry us through the day, courtesy of last night’s cinematic feature:

Cynthia: If we are all gonna die anyway shouldn’t we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I’d like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.

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11 Responses to “Got 99 Problems But…”

  1. rcr Says:

    You can see why I was not very popular in high school.

  2. I-66 Says:

    Definitely nothing about weddings in here.

  3. Bridal Bird Says:

    RCR-Oh I’m sure it was a real pleasure to have you around arguing about whether or not a specific track was on Bona Drag or Viva Hate, that sort of thing.

    I-66-If the expression “soothe my jangled nerves” appears in a post you may assume that the wedding is most certainly involved.

  4. I-66 Says:

    I thought the jangled nerves were due to the fact that you reached a point of soccer deprivation that can only be remedied by massive soccer immersion. Whenever you’re ready to admit it, I’ll be here for you. What are archnemeses for?

  5. Hammer Says:

    I wouldn’t worry about it, BB. If the point of a person’s workout is to actually work out, then style needs to go right out the window. Hell, if it weren’t for my absurdly expensive running shoes, then I’d probably pass for a homeless person during my night runs. (Admittedly, back home is where I get the really weird looks. In DC, you see me running through a neighborhood at 10:30 p.m. you just assume it’s a guy getting in a little exercise. Back home, if you see a guy running through a residential area at 10:30 p.m. you just assume it’s an episode of COPS being filmed.)

  6. Johanna Says:

    oh YOU, you know I’d never judge.

    (batting lashes)

    Nope.

    Never.

    Nuh-uh.

  7. Bridal Bird Says:

    I-66-At some point in the next 10 months I will likely completely crack. Set down my basket for good, as it were. Watch carefully for that moment. It is the only point at which I will ever consider attending a the futbol contest.

    Hammer-Oh she’s not a fashionista when it comes to working out. She does however have strict rules arguing against moving about the city streets on a weekday in an ensemble that looks like one is on their way to the first winter practice of the high school lacrosse season.

  8. mb Says:

    How can you have NOT commented on this?

    http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/01/07/cake.irpt/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

  9. Bridal Bird Says:

    Helloooo, Oct. 26 ;-):

    https://bridalbird.wordpress.com/2007/10/26/why-the-bridal-industry-hates-us/

  10. mb Says:

    oooh, my apologies… I just started seeing it in the news! you (and johanna) are so ahead on finding wacky bridal stuff, I hang my head in shame

  11. Bridal Bird Says:

    You don’t have my archives memorized?! For shame! 😉

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