Why The Bridal Industry Hates Us Friday

Full disclosure before we start. I’ve worn angel wings before. Here’s the important distinction though between that and what you’re about to read: I’ve worn them on Halloween. OK, and once this past December when I organized the charity drive for my department and bet my colleagues they wouldn’t raise a certain amount of money and that if they did, I’d dress up in some goofy Christmas costume. Darn it if those little hustlers didn’t rake in the cash.

Reader Nadine alerted me recently to a website called Bridalwave, where one of their bloggers is promoting these wings as…wait for it…wedding attire. Let’s take a look at the Bridalwave post:


Be an angelic bride with angel wings!

I spent ages looking at the various wings for sale by eProductSales on etsy before deciding to share them with you. I kept thinking “Who would wear wings for their wedding?” but then I’d immediately think “I would! I would!”

They’re just so beautiful – don’t you think? – and I think they’d look stunning with a plain dress and perhaps as part of an overall angelic theme.

Related: Crystal Angel bracelet at Yarwood-White | Turn your junior bridesmaids into little angels! | Angels Interiors candle table decorations

You think they’d look stunning? Oh, I bet your guests would be stunned. I’ll give your husband the benefit of the doubt that he might know what he’s getting into but I’m guessing Nana Bridalwave’s going to have a coronary. And turning your junior bridesmaids into little angels? (kissing pinched fingers here like an Italian chef stereotype). Brilliant! Because who wants the simple hassle of planning an elegant wedding when they can stage an entire Lil’ Christmas Miracle Pageant?! Ten points extra if you drop your junior bridesmaid angels from the church rafters onto white bunting-draped mini-trampolines.

Really what levels me on this is the idea of a woman parading down the aisle with the conception in her head that she’s some tinkling, glittering angel. Here’s a tip to brides who might be tempted to drink that particular snifter of Kool-Aid: from everything I’m hearing, marriage is tough enough with the two people involved. Bringing an idealized “character” into it like it’s FantaCon ’08 at the Reno Hilton probably isn’t going to make your ensuing decades any easier. 

I believe Nadine said it best when she closed her email with a succinct, “I mean, WTF?” WTF, indeed, Nadine. WTF.


7 Responses to “Why The Bridal Industry Hates Us Friday”

  1. Lemmonex Says:

    People lose their god damned minds when they get married. But as you point out, she was probably already bat shit crazy to begin with. The friends I have had that have totally lost their sense of reality when it comes to their wedding? I kinda knew that would happen to begin with. It is like…your personality on crack.

  2. mary Says:

    I have this sinking feeling that she doesn’t have any friends.
    Because if she did, they would have politely talked her out of it.

  3. Katie Says:

    I think calling her crazy is a bit much, frankly. Fantasy weddings are a big thing for a lot of people. I mean, it’s no where near as nuts as the couple that dressed up as clowns for there wedding, and the groom made his entrance in a wheelbarrow.

    In comparison, wings on a bride ain’t that bad.

    I, personally, would wear wings on my wedding day, though nothing quite as large and overbearing as those pictured. I always pictured fairy-esk wings made of organza or silk, just for a bit of added omph.

    Also, I think if a bride has the ball’s to do something like that, when her family see’s it, they won’t be surprised, because chances are she’s done something like that before.

  4. Pommegranites Says:

    Does it really matter that much to you that you have to trash the poor thing? Try taking into account the person’s personality. If she likes to costume… More than likely the man she’s marrying is into the same thing she is and if not would probably try to compromise with her… because you know it’s a give and take thing with weddings.

    Also… who said your idea for a wedding would be any better? You want traditional mayhaps? Maybe some people extremely bored with the norm would think your idea is batshit crazy because you’re so bland and vanilla. Or if it wasn’t bland and vanilla and you tried to add something you thought was cute someone went and trashed that idea of yours. God forbid someone try to add a little spunk to their wedding without someone who doesn’t even know them publicly bashing them for it on the internet. Bravo.

    So… wtf to you Bridal Bird.

    And if you’re going to get angry then please, by all means. But think about it before you do… All I did to you was what you just did to her. Except I’m actually posting this where you’ll most likely read it. I doubt you had enough gall to actually email this girl to tell her she was nuts.

  5. Margart Says:

    An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a co-worker who
    had been doing a little homework on this. And he in fact ordered me dinner because I discovered
    it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending time to talk about this topic here on your web page.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    how can I buy the wings? my email is lenao419@live.com

  7. deseray du Toit Says:

    Were can I hire angel wings like this ?

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