Full disclosure before we start. I’ve worn angel wings before. Here’s the important distinction though between that and what you’re about to read: I’ve worn them on Halloween. OK, and once this past December when I organized the charity drive for my department and bet my colleagues they wouldn’t raise a certain amount of money and that if they did, I’d dress up in some goofy Christmas costume. Darn it if those little hustlers didn’t rake in the cash.
Reader Nadine alerted me recently to a website called Bridalwave, where one of their bloggers is promoting these wings as…wait for it…wedding attire. Let’s take a look at the Bridalwave post:
Be an angelic bride with angel wings!
I spent ages looking at the various wings for sale by eProductSales on etsy before deciding to share them with you. I kept thinking “Who would wear wings for their wedding?” but then I’d immediately think “I would! I would!”
They’re just so beautiful – don’t you think? – and I think they’d look stunning with a plain dress and perhaps as part of an overall angelic theme.
You think they’d look stunning? Oh, I bet your guests would be stunned. I’ll give your husband the benefit of the doubt that he might know what he’s getting into but I’m guessing Nana Bridalwave’s going to have a coronary. And turning your junior bridesmaids into little angels? (kissing pinched fingers here like an Italian chef stereotype). Brilliant! Because who wants the simple hassle of planning an elegant wedding when they can stage an entire Lil’ Christmas Miracle Pageant?! Ten points extra if you drop your junior bridesmaid angels from the church rafters onto white bunting-draped mini-trampolines.
Really what levels me on this is the idea of a woman parading down the aisle with the conception in her head that she’s some tinkling, glittering angel. Here’s a tip to brides who might be tempted to drink that particular snifter of Kool-Aid: from everything I’m hearing, marriage is tough enough with the two people involved. Bringing an idealized “character” into it like it’s FantaCon ’08 at the Reno Hilton probably isn’t going to make your ensuing decades any easier.
I believe Nadine said it best when she closed her email with a succinct, “I mean, WTF?” WTF, indeed, Nadine. WTF.