Clinton for President? Yes, And I’m Going to Unseat Mayor McCheese.


Clinton voters,

Let’s engage in some political fact finding. No judgment, no screeds in response to comments. In fact, I’m not even going to respond to comments. I want to know: why do you think your candidate has a viable chance of beating the Republican candidate? And yes, I specifically say “the Republican candidate” even though we know it’s McCain, because the Republicans could run a mentally challenged dolphin and the party will fall in line, provided they are reminded that the gays/immigrants/anyone from that whole iffy Middle East region/French are out to get them.

Look, I’m not even questioning her fitness as president. While I think she really screwed the pooch on her initial Iraq vote, I’m confident she’d do a completely acceptable job in the White House. As my friend Tina Fey noted last week in endorsing her, “bitches get stuff done.” But aren’t you the slightest bit worried that your belief that Clinton’s going to be the bestest president ever has an expiration date of exactly 243 days? From where does your confidence that anyone with a last name of Clinton has a chance of beating the Republican machine/anti-Hillary media spring? (Question that last assertion about the media only after brushing up on your Chris Matthews and MoDowd, please.) Obama can galvanize Democrats and maybe pull in some votes from across the aisle as a bonus. Clinton will be the greatest fundraiser the Republican party has ever known.

When I look at results from last night, I don’t think, “people who vote for Clinton are idiots because she’d be a bad president.” I think, “why are you turning the primary into a short-term popularity contest?” Enlighten my cynical self.

Thank You,

Update: Reader J brings up a good point in the comments. For those of you who come here for the “What’s the deal with Jordan almond favors?” rants, I also wrote a wedding post today. It’s right below this one.


11 Responses to “Clinton for President? Yes, And I’m Going to Unseat Mayor McCheese.”

  1. A Says:

    Not a Hillary voter, but…

    A short-term popularity contest? I’d argue that’s what Obama supporters have been doing since the beginning. How often do people say “Gosh, I sure like how he voted on that issue?” Most often the comments are “He’s so eloquent” and “He’d be the nice guy in DC.”

    Not a sermon, just a thought.

  2. J Says:

    i liked you better when you stuck to writing about your wedding. (not a hillary voter, either.)

  3. Arjewtino Says:

    I liked your commenters better when they didn’t sign off as anonymous letters of the alphabet.

  4. Lemmonex Says:

    I was a Clinton supporter (I worked indirectly for her at one point, working on her ads)…but…the love had died. It took a lot of prodding from a a lot of people, but I can admit when I am wrong. She has royally, royally fucked things up. She has alienated Latino voters by firing Patti Solis Doyle, she has hired the wrong people out of loyalty, not talent, and she is single handedly taking the party down by spreading untruths about Obama. Why doesn’t she just hand the election to the Rs? I don’t love Obama, but I am starting to see how Hills could be very bad for the country. Her campaign is desperately off track and she is scrambling and wounded. She would have been an awesome majority leader.

  5. K Says:

    And on that note, Nader, what the f–k are you doing? Do you REALLY need to run a guaranteed loser campaign in a year we actually have a chance of a Democratic win?


    I ❤ Obama

  6. I-66 Says:

    K – I watched The Daily Show last night and I wanted to punch Nader in his stupid face. He should’ve come on to the Beastie Boys’ Sabotage.

  7. ejtakeslife Says:

    Lemmonex- Word.

  8. Florida HRC Delegate Says:

    Why am I still supporting Hillary? For exactly the reasons you stated, Bird. There is no dirt that the republican hate machine hasn’t already dished and hasn’t already stuck. Obama is fresh meat. And by the look of it, his skin is a lot thinner than hers. AND Bitches get things done. Washington is a sesspool and we need a shark! And yes, I am a delegate for Hillary, got elected this past Saturday. PHAROH LET MY PEOPLE GO!

  9. Allie Says:

    What the hell is this? “the Republicans could run a mentally challenged dolphin and the party will fall in line, provided they are reminded that the gays/immigrants/anyone from that whole iffy Middle East region/French are out to get them.” Clearly you don’t know what you’re talking about as Canada is blatantly absent from your list. While I am not accusing Canada of being out to get us, any country that gives us Celine Dion AND “You Can’t Do That on Television” (starring the pre-famous Alanis Morissette) is definitely suspect.

  10. RCR Says:

    I’d like to be wrong, but I don’t think there is any way in hell that Hillary can beat McCain.

  11. kat Says:

    I’m a HUGE Obama supporter, despite living in Clinton’s (fake) home state. Above all else, I have to cringe at the thought of this primary lasting another seven weeks, while the “Republican candidate” is now official.

    Also, McCain does look a little bit like a dolphin.

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