Workin’ 9 to 5…On Your Invites!


Not my invites of course. The Bird scrupulously avoids wedding planning on the clock. My magazine’s readers deserve my full attention and who am I to rob them of the wisdom that drips from my pen like butter off a hot knife?

Except that one eensy weensy time that I needed to dash over to the Decatur House to peruse their courtyard. But that was on my lunchbreak! And the time I needed to zip a contract down to the Hay-Adams. Did you hear me? I said “zip!” Over and back in 20 minutes—that’s less time than most shlubs spend trying to decide what donut to eat and yapping about Dancing With the Stars in the breakroom. Other things that I have wedged, jammed, and stuffed into the free space or periphery of my workday but definitely, certainly never, ever during the workday: making a veil fitting appointment, looking for invites that don’t make me gag (if God didn’t want me doing that on my work computer he wouldn’t have given me a Mac with a huge hunking screen), and fielding approximately 128 vendor emails. Again, to reiterate: not during the workday.

However, there are some brides who feel no such compunction. According to “How to Plan Your Wedding at Work (Without Getting Fired),” the workday is merely one more generous chunk of time to utilize for all manner of non-work related activity. My friend Julie alerted me to this helpful article in an email the other day. An email sent, of course, at the end of the work day, as it was about a personal matter. She writes: “For the bride-to-be, this is great, for all of the rest of us who know all of our colleagues are planning their wedding at work and we’re the ones doing their work, not so funny…” Exactly. If you for some reason feel the need to wage a full-scale assault on your work day by planning your big day, then just go ahead and hire a wedding planner.

Although that raises the question: What’s the wedding planner going to do to slack off during her work day?
Did that just Blow. Your. Mind?

Time Posted: 5:20 p.m. (Because I certainly never blog during the work day either.)


9 Responses to “Workin’ 9 to 5…On Your Invites!”

  1. Bridal Bird Says:

    And if any of my blog-reading co-workers were planning on laying down any snarky assertions in this space, please remember that I make an incredibly delicious caramel pecan roll and you certainly wouldn’t want to find that you were off of the “Co-workers Who Get to Enjoy My Incredibly Delicious Caramel Pecan Rolls” list. It’s a cold and undelicious place to be.

  2. I-66 Says:

    So if I don’t snark, can I get some caramel pecan roll? I mean, yeah, I’m not a co-worker, but I do use this space for snark as if it were my job, despite the fact that I have no actual occupation presently. Now that is commitment.

  3. Bridal Bird Says:

    You have shown great effort here, so I’ll put you on the payroll. Your caramel pecan roll is in the mail.

  4. Hammer Says:

    In the immortal words of the Wu-Kissinger Clan, “Caramel pecan roll diplomacy ain’t nothin’ to f### with!”

  5. Nadine Says:

    How about sharing the recipe to the delicious caramel pecan roll?

  6. regs Says:

    Bird- Adorable save the date postcard, I’m sure the invitations will be just as adorable as you and fiancé. Guess where I’m going tonight? Back to CU to see Dave Eggers read and talk about his work. Why was nothing this fun happening when we were there?

    PS-Regarding the post a while back on a quest to a size 6, you are already a knockout as an 8 FYI.

  7. I-66 Says:

    Oh now do you really think I’m the kind of guy that would say something about “sticky buns?”

    I mean, they’re just buns. They don’t even get sticky unless I have a few minutes to work with.

  8. I-66 Says:

    Okay. What just happened? How did my comment move in on top of yours?

  9. Bridal Bird Says:

    Hammer–“Wooohd to your-ah mothah!” (My lame attempt to do phoenetically spelled Kissinger.”

    Nadine–Excellent idea. I feel a domestic goddess post coming on for Monday. Stay tuned for Sticky Buns. (That’s their actual name in our family, but of course I didn’t write that because frankly I don’t need to open myself up to any more heat from I-66.

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