It has become apparent from the wedding catalogs and magazines arriving in our mailbox that there is a plethora of stupid junk we could give people as wedding favors. I’ll not name check any particular stupid item because inevitably it will lead to at least one of my married readers saying in a huff, “But we thought our personalized tongue scrapers were adorable!” Faced with such offerings, I’ve been looking for alternatives.
A few months ago I mentioned to my sister that I was considering making my famous (trust me) chocolate chip cookies as favors. She gave me a look that she’s given me on occasion since childhood, a look best described as “How Did I and This Moron Spring Forth From the Same Womb?” Suffice it to say, it’s marinated to an effective potency after a couple decades. “How in God’s name are you going to have time to make all those cookies before your wedding?” she said in a tone that was the verbal equivalent of The Look. After I half-heartedly protested that it couldn’t be that hard, she did what she certainly felt was in my best interest and in her purview as the maid of honor and quashed the idea by dropping her chin, narrowing her eyes to skeptical half-slits and saying simply, “Dude.”
[It might beg explanation for my newer readers that she was not merely riffing on the beer commercial. My nickname since babyhood has indeed been some form of Dude, courtesy of my older brother. It started as Little Dude, was later shortened to Dude and now my nieces and nephews call me Aunt Dude.]
I spent the last couple of months trying to come up with another idea to no avail. (I did at least determine that I want to do something edible so people don’t have to schlep a tchotchke around.) The other night, while watching Cookie Monster on the Colbert Report, I decided that dagnammit I’m making the cookies! I located a company online that sells little glassine bags to put them in and found a company that turns any image you send to them into a stamp. So I’ll finally get to use that vintage typewriter image of my father’s on the labels. I’ll make the cookies the week ahead of time and freeze them, something I do all the time and they taste fantastic when they thaw. Then the day before I’ll bag ’em and tag ’em. Plus, it will be something personal from us. I say “us” because someone’s going to have to taste test them for quality control and I have a feeling I know who that someone will be.
My question for you—do I do big tubs of ice with cartons of milk in them, too? I know it would look fun, but practically speaking would you actually grab a carton of milk with your cookies on your way out the door from a wedding? I could go either way on this.