Like it or not, we brides with impending nuptials tend to stick together. The Class of 2008 as it were. We suss each other out on blogs or eye each other skeptically while flouncing through high-end bridal ateliers, but in the end we share a knowing, internal “we’re getting marrrrrried!” squeal—no matter how contrary to our normal personalities that might be—that bonds like Elmer’s. (My dog’s veterinarian and I practically sorority sister hugged when we realized we both had new engagement rings a few months ago.) What we the aforementioned members of the bridal Class of 2008 did not sign on for, though, was welcoming a Bush twin into our elite fraternity. If there’s one thing we’re on guard for it’s some chippy sucking the air out of our ballroom.
My opinions about her father notwithstanding, I have no substantive beef with this girl, setting aside:
*Her penchant for throwing up boneheaded Austin-area gang signs
* Her inability to stand upright
* Her pesky bad luck with vampires ruining every good party
* And her disdain for my brothers and sisters in the press corps.
Oh and frankly all signs point to this being the ne plus ultra of “Pompous Hearts Insufferable Monday” wedding announcements.
But now any twinge of Jenna wedding-focused angst I might have had is in the past, because the White House announced this week that she’ll be marrying on May 10, months before my own nuptials, and she’s doing it at Rancho Fake-o in Crawford, Texas, not here in D.C. So I need not fear that she’s going to yoink my reception spot or that her jazz combo will blare from the White House lawn and drown out my carefully selected tunes tinkling from the rooftop terrace of the HayAd.
However, upon reading the Reliable Source announcement about the date yesterday morning, I did choke on my Golden Grahams and wonder, “How in the f*** is she going to plan a wedding in five months? It takes eight months just to get a gown made.” And then I remembered, “Oh, right. She’s got a few connections.” Then it occurred to me that there will likely be more planning by the White House for this wedding than there was for the post-invasion period in Iraq. Zing!
So congratulations Jenna. Try not to fall over at the altar.