A Bird in the Hand (in October) is Worth Two in the Bush (in May)

Like it or not, we brides with impending nuptials tend to stick together. The Class of 2008 as it were. We suss each other out on blogs or eye each other skeptically while flouncing through high-end bridal ateliers, but in the end we share a knowing, internal “we’re getting marrrrrried!” squeal—no matter how contrary to our normal personalities that might be—that bonds like Elmer’s. (My dog’s veterinarian and I practically sorority sister hugged when we realized we both had new engagement rings a few months ago.) What we the aforementioned members of the bridal Class of 2008 did not sign on for, though, was welcoming a Bush twin into our elite fraternity. If there’s one thing we’re on guard for it’s some chippy sucking the air out of our ballroom.

My opinions about her father notwithstanding, I have no substantive beef with this girl, setting aside:

*Her penchant for throwing up boneheaded Austin-area gang signs

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* Her inability to stand upright

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* Her pesky bad luck with vampires ruining every good party

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* And her disdain for my brothers and sisters in the press corps.

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Oh and frankly all signs point to this being the ne plus ultra of “Pompous Hearts Insufferable Monday” wedding announcements.

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But now any twinge of Jenna wedding-focused angst I might have had is in the past, because the White House announced this week that she’ll be marrying on May 10, months before my own nuptials, and she’s doing it at Rancho Fake-o in Crawford, Texas, not here in D.C. So I need not fear that she’s going to yoink my reception spot or that her jazz combo will blare from the White House lawn and drown out my carefully selected tunes tinkling from the rooftop terrace of the HayAd.

However, upon reading the Reliable Source announcement about the date yesterday morning, I did choke on my Golden Grahams and wonder, “How in the f*** is she going to plan a wedding in five months? It takes eight months just to get a gown made.” And then I remembered, “Oh, right. She’s got a few connections.” Then it occurred to me that there will likely be more planning by the White House for this wedding than there was for the post-invasion period in Iraq. Zing!

So congratulations Jenna. Try not to fall over at the altar.

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13 Responses to “A Bird in the Hand (in October) is Worth Two in the Bush (in May)”

  1. I-66 Says:

    I think they’re going to conduct the entire ceremony with the bride, groom, and both respective parties laying down on alternately on their backs and fronts. The justification? Probably something about how she got here, and where she’s going next.

  2. suicide_blond Says:

    im just tickled pink that the “event” wont be tying up traffic here!!
    xoxo

  3. etcetera Says:

    she’s insufferable *every* day of the week. year round. i give ’em 7 years, max.

  4. Mary Ellen Says:

    Oh, like you’ve never fallen over drunk! (Or, um, was that me…)

    think she’s okay.

  5. Mary Ellen Says:

    I mean *I* think she’s okay. Typing too fast…feeding babies…blah-blah. Sorry.

  6. Arjewtino Says:

    I know you read her book. How was it?

  7. rcr Says:

    She looks so much like her dad now, it’s scary. The same wide face and beady little eyes. I hope Henry enjoys bumping uglies with W for the rest of his life.

    Now Barb, that’s a piece of ass. Pretty hot for an 82 year old.

  8. class-factotum Says:

    Oh come on. In college, she did the same stupid things many college girls do, only she had everyone watching. She seems to have turned out to be a very nice, hard-working young woman. She is just adorable — did you see her on the Ellen Degeneres show?

    As far as the sign, would you rather have her gigging the Aggies?

  9. A Star is Born, Wait A Few Weeks and All Coldplay Lyrics are Applicable, Jenna Bush Gets Me a Wedding Present, and The Orioles Continue to Love Me Back « Bridal Bird Says:

    […] to find their way to BridalBird. Oddly enough, I haven’t posted about the first daughter in quite a while. As for the wedding itself, I will say that it sounds like it was lovely. In fact it’s the […]

  10. Katie Garren Says:

    I personally don’t have anything against the girl, but if it makes you feel any better, I just got married on May 17th, so I had to share my wedding week with her in a way. Also, to add insult to injury, after my new husband and I’s flight out got cancelled to our Hawaiian honeymoon–causing us to have to fly out the next day and miss an entire day of our honeymoon (courtesy of American Airlines those bastards), I got to stare at Jenna’s wedding pictures on the cover of People as I deplaned to my honeymoon…a day late. I’m sure she didn’t have that problem though. Psh.

  11. Obama’s Solyndra Talking Cure Fails: Little scandal, big story | HollywoodDaily.us Says:

    […] It will also continue to radiate political obstructions to whatever Obama’s agenda is these days. Which is why I’m encouraged by one detail in Michael Goodwin’s recent scuttlebutt-laden report on Obama’s growing disengagement. The president, Goodwin claims, often knocks off work around 4 o’clock to have dinner with his wife and children. This is good news first because the president has a lovely young family; second because leisurely dinners leave less time for the legacy-building we all end up paying for; and third because history has shown that the more time a president spends with his family, the less time the rest of us have to spend with them. […]

  12. Anonymous Says:

    Wow, were you jealous and bitter much or what? “Austin Gang Sign” still has me lolling. Obviously you’re not, nor were you ever an athlete or fan of a team. Hook’em Horns…. As in Longhorns. Yes be very careful for the scary, UT girls gang of Burnt Orange and white t-shirts and cowboy boots! You may have a headache from sitting to close at a football game! Haha

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